Comments on: Should ICT be used throughout the curriculum ?

By: lauren

lauren — Wed, 21 Mar 2007 10:33:29 +0000

i am writing for louise
On the title i think it is good but it could be a bite shoter.
On the introducin you have told the reader what it is about.
On the arguments for you have put for and against in the diffent paragraph but you have not done connectivecs.
On the arguments against you need to do more full stops but you have put for against in diffent paragraph.

By: Edward P

Edward P — Wed, 21 Mar 2007 10:32:33 +0000

To Steph M

Your is as a question but could be a little bit more imaginative. Your introduction said what the argument was about but was one long big sentence. The commas were in the wrong place as well. The introduction only explained one for and none against. The seperate paragraph for each for view point 1 argument was good too. The against argument was stronger though. You haven’t used any connectives in view point 1

By: Jack P

Jack P — Wed, 21 Mar 2007 10:31:51 +0000

To Steph M

You did say what the argument was about but you put it all in one big sentance, also you forgot to put a question mark on the second lines question and the commas were in the wrong place. The title was good and in a ritorical question. On the against you’ve used you’re strogest argument first and in a good one. The becauses and therefores are used very well in the against paragraph.

By: Joe from Hope school

Joe from Hope school — Wed, 21 Mar 2007 10:31:09 +0000

This is on hope’s argument

Title: Very good you forgot the question mark

Introdution (IFD): Good start and end forgot end spech marks in middle in first person well done.

For argument: Well done you might need a paragh to identify this but it is good other than that.

Against argument: No paragh either. Good first sentans yourarguments are very good well done.

By: Fay

Fay — Wed, 21 Mar 2007 10:28:52 +0000

Steph M
The title was the right length and a question.
The introduction tells the reader what the discussion is about but it could be shorter.
Paragraph for argument one includes very strong arguments and a quote although it includes personal pronouns and there is no connectives, one point stated twice.
Argument two includes a quote, the arguments are very strong and the strongest argument is first. But punctuation could be better, there is no connectives.
The conclusion is the right size and it makes sense, it is one of the approved choises, it could be better if you had stated your own point of view.

By: Jackm

Jackm — Wed, 21 Mar 2007 10:27:21 +0000

katie I think you did the title very good I think you did the first bit very well but at the end you got confuest but on viewpoint 1 you did it very well indeed. I think you did it very good but got confuest at the end. I think you did it’s very well. I think it was very good but a bit more fullstops.

By: warren

warren — Wed, 21 Mar 2007 10:25:37 +0000

this is jordons.

he hasent used kapitals

kenectives are good

youv used foul stops

letters are not good

By: james

james — Wed, 21 Mar 2007 10:23:22 +0000

(Katies argument) the title is a question but a bit too long.told the reader what it is about.you need to add some more to the introduction.you have remembered to use two diffrent paragraphs.in view point two you have used the strongest argument first.you need to do some worck on organising them. you have told the reader about both sides on your conclusion.

james from hope school.

By: thomas

thomas — Wed, 21 Mar 2007 10:20:41 +0000

I did Katie’s.

The title is good because it is done as a question.

The introduction could have been shorter, but it is good.

I think that she has covered both of the arguments.

Katie has remembered to do a new paragraph for the different arguments.

In the conclusion, Katie has told the reader her point of wiew, although she has used personel pronouns.

By: polly

polly — Wed, 21 Mar 2007 10:19:57 +0000

Steph M
The title is good it is a question and isn’t too long.
The introduction is done well because it tells the reader morre about the discussion but it is a long sentence so there could be more full stops and commers.

There were strong arguments in the first argument and you used a new para graph for it but it does have a personal pronoun in and it could be better if you put some connectives in, also it states one point of view twice

for argument two there were more strong arguments and you put the best one first, there was a new paragraph.

The conclusion was done really well helps bring all your arguments together and you’re making the reader make up thier own mind which is good but it could be a bit better if you stated your own point of vieew