Stunning Settings
25 04 2007
Have a read of these fantasic settings. Can you help to further develop them?
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My Holiday
Tweet tweet cried the birds like they were singing a lullaby in the tree tops.The wood shack was on the edge of a bank which led to a rushing river at the bottom, were the water wreeds waved as the wind whistled.
The sky faded into a billowing dark blue, and the stars twinkled up by the moon.
How the air smelt fresh and new as it blew, around the camp fire as we sat like couch potatoes in our camping chairs.
The ceiling of the shack made a sound of a tedious drip drop splash, drip drop splash sound as the rain pattered all the night.
The birds sung there morning tune as if they were singing about the moon.
Paragraph 1
“Haunted house”
The most scariest expense of my life
I remember the day I visited a haunted house, I will never go back. The doors opened by themselves, there must be ghosts in there, I’m sure there is. The walls were covered in moss and Ivy, the wood was rotten and had wood worm. The floor creped even when I was standing still, I could hear scary voices. There was bones scatted every there was old junk on the floor. I walked along the hall and then I turned around and I saw a person creep around the corner. The lights was flickering and it was cold up in haunted house.
A forest at night
The evening grew darker, a stream trickled through the forest as the moonlight made it shimmer like a blanket. Birds roosting in the tree tops, making loud noises. The wind whispered through the trees, like it was playing a tune. The badgers snuffling on the ground, searching for slugs as they left a trail in the wet mud from the rain. The trees waved as though they were going to grab each other.
Paragraph 1
“Hanted House”
The day I visited the Hanted House, this is my description. The ripped of there hinges, and the windows smashed. But when I was just about to go back home it called to me the house had said my name. I turned around and there at the door was a person I don’t know who he is but he was the one saying my name I ran to the house but he was gone. And then someone came up behind me and pushed me into the house.
Paragraph 1
“Haunted house”
The most scariest expense of my life
I remember the day I visited a haunted house, I will never go back. The doors opened by themselves, there must be ghosts in there, I’m sure there is. The walls were covered in moss and Ivy, the wood was rotten and had wood worm. The floor creped even when I was standing still, I could hear scary voices. There was bones scatted everywhere there was old junk on the floor. I walked along the hall and then I turned around and I saw a person creep around the corner. The lights was flickering and it was cold up in haunted house. When…
Paragraph 1
“Haunted House”
The day I visited the Haunted House, this is my description. The dorr was ripped of its hinges, and the windows smashed. But when I was just about to go back home it called to me the house had said my name. I turned around and there at the door was a person I don’t know who they were but they were the one saying my name I ran to the house but he was gone. And then someone came up behind me and pushed me into the house. When….
(Paragraph 1)
“A Stunning meadow”
The sun is always shining over the flowery meadow. It is so relaxing when you go in, it makes you feel like you are flying. The views you see are just like a dream. The flowers look just like a rainbow. I sit in the shade of the trees, that look like they are arching over me. I wake up and the sun is starting to go down, like an orange falling from the sky.
operning paragraph - describe a operning paragraph
As I walk through the perfect gate with lionheads on top coverd in silver and gold, when I walked into the hotel there were shiny lanting and a candy stall.
The butler took us to our room it was like a fariy palace it had double beds and a kitchen it also had the best bedroom ever. The silling where also coverd in silver and gold.
I look outside the windoow I heard the sweet song of the Nightingale flying through the trees as I walk around the the room.
New improved version!
My Holiday
Tweet tweet cried the birds, like they were singing a lullaby in the tree tops.The wood shack was on the edge of a bank, which led to a rushing river at the bottom, where the water reeds waved as the wind whistled.
The sky faded into a billowing dark blue, and the stars twinkled up by the moon.How the air smelt fresh and new as it blew around the camp fire, as we sat like couch potatoes in our camping chairs.
The ceiling of the shack made a sound of a tedious drip drop splash, drip drop splash, as the rain pattered all through the night.The birds sung their morning tune as if they were singing about the moon.
The daffodils, the blue bells and the daisies too, all shone as they bloomed.
The rays of the sun hit the trees as they swayed in the breeze.How the dew sparkled like glitter on the grass. The clouds were like marsh mellows, as they flew across the sky. I have have always wondered, Is it us moving or the sky?
(Paragraph 1).
Stunning settings
I suddenly landed in Australia. It was boiling hot at that time I had a jumper on at that time within 2 minutes I had to take it off because even though I was inside it normal temperature and it was 25 degress just inside.
A Horrible Holiday
I’ve been there before too the most horribly bug filled, cramped up, broken down caravan in the world. I’ve begged my parents to stay at home but they wouldn’t let me.
I asked my friends if I could stay at there house wail my family was on holiday but they didn’t let me. the place was filled with bugs and it has its own pond in the sofa with something living it there. There is no beech for miles and a horrible rusty old shower which doesn’t work. And I have too spend a full horrible week there!
A stunning setting.
We have just arrived at the cottage, the views are simply gorgeous, at the side of the house the ivy creeping up to the window is like a nosey neighbour trying to look inside. I turn the key in the old oak door, it creeks quietly as I stumble through. The house smells a bit strange, like a bakery in the morning. We explored the house, the lounge, a deep fiery red, glowed in the morning sunlight, the birds sang and the fish tank bubbled. It is just like mum said, I thought.
We decide to go in the lush garden, I slide the patio door, we stand stunned at the view. The garden is like a jungle in full bloom, I intriguingly wondered through the honeysuckle arch into the view of the sea the sun reflected on to the sea like the fiery red of the lounge . The day was coming to an end, as the sun went down it went silent the only sound was the waves breaking at the sand.
My 3rd inproved version
My Holiday
Tweet tweet cried the birds, like they were singing a lullaby in the tree tops.The wood shack was on the edge of a bank, which led to a rushing river at the bottom, where the water reeds waved as the wind whistled.
The sky faded into a billowing dark blue, and the stars twinkled up by the moon.How the air smelt fresh and new as it blew around the camp fire, as we sat like couch potatoes in our camping chairs.
The ceiling of the shack made a sound of a tedious drip drop splash, drip drop splash, as the rain pattered all through the night.The birds sung their morning tune as if they were singing about the moon.
The daffodils, the blue bells and the daisies too, all shone as they bloomed.
The rays of the sun hit the trees as they swayed in the breeze.How the dew sparkled like glitter on the grass. The clouds were like marsh mellows, as they flew across the sky.
My Holiday
Tweet tweet cried the birds, like they were singing a lullaby in the tree tops.The wood shack was on the edge of a bank, which led to a rushing river at the bottom, where the water reeds waved as the wind whistled.
The sky faded into a billowing dark blue, and the stars twinkled up by the moon.How the air smelt fresh and new as it blew around the camp fire, as we sat like couch potatoes in our camping chairs.
The ceiling of the shack made a sound of a tedious drip drop splash, drip drop splash, as the rain pattered all through the night, The birds sung their morning tune as if they were singing about the moon.
The daffodils, the blue bells and the daisies too, all shone as they bloomed.
The rays of the sun hit the trees as they swayed in the breeze.How the dew sparkled like glitter on the grass. The clouds were like marsh mellows, as they flew across the sky.
Key
Headline
Describing words
Similes
Sounds
Smells
Things that were by the site
Other information and describing words
The stranger on a train
The mysterious man had dark brown colored eyes, that were really staring, like a bird watching its prey.
He sat like a crow with his back hunched over.
His hands were like sand paper as they touched his cut face.
His cloths were worn as if a mouse had come and chewed at them.
His face was cut and bruised like he had been shaken about in a box full of knifes.
He only had an apple and a black coat with him no other luggage.
2nd improved version
The stranger on a train
The mysterious man had dark brown colored eyes, that were really staring, like a bird watching its prey.
He sat like a crow with his back hunched over.
His hands were like sand paper as they touched his cut face.
His cloths were worn as if a mouse had come and chewed at them.
His face was cut and bruised like he had been shaken about in a box full of knifes.
He only had an apple and a black coat with him no other luggage.
The stranger on a train
A mysterious young man who was sat next to me had dark brown colored eyes, that were really staring, like a bird watching its prey. It was like he had never seen a field, or cows or sheep or the sky.
He sat like a crow with his back hunched over, it was like he was watching something, it look like he was gazing out the window at all the freedom that was outside and referring back at all the little space that was provided on the train.
His hands were like sand paper as they touched his cut face, as he looked at me then turned away with sadness.
His cloths were torn, worn and ripped, it was like a mouse had come and chewed at them.
His face was cut and bruised like he had been shaken about in a box full of knifes.
He only had an apple and a black coat with him no other luggage.
His face looked sad, droopy and hopeless.
final version i think!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The stranger on a train
The mysterious man had dark brown colored eyes, that were really staring, like a bird watching its prey.
He sat like a crow with his back hunched over.
His hands were like sand paper as they touched his cut face.
His cloths were worn as if a mouse had come and chewed at them.
His face was cut and bruised like he had been shaken about in a box full of knifes.
He only had an apple and a black coat with him no other luggage.
The stranger on a train
A mysterious young man who was sat next to me had dark brown colored eyes, that were really staring, like a bird watching its prey. It was like he had never seen a field, or cows or sheep or the sky.
He sat like a crow with his back hunched over, it was like he was watching something, it look like he was gazing out the window at all the freedom that was outside and referring back at all the little space that was provided on the train.
His hands were like sand paper as they touched his cut face, as he looked at me then turned away with sadness.
His cloths were torn, worn and ripped, it was like a mouse had come and chewed at them.
His face was cut and bruised like he had been shaken about in a box full of knifes.
He only had an apple and a black coat with him no other luggage.
His face looked sad, droopy and hopeless.
The stranger on a train
A mysterious young man who was sat next to me had dark brown colored eyes, that were really staring, like a bird watching its prey. It was like he had never seen a field, or cows or sheep or the sky.
He sat like a crow with his back hunched over, it was like he was watching something, it look like he was gazing out the window at all the freedom that was outside and referring back at all the little space that was provided on the train.
His hands were like sand paper as they touched his cut face, as he looked at me then turned away with sadness.
His cloths were torn, worn and ripped, it was like a mouse had come and chewed at them.
His face was cut and bruised like he had been shaken about in a box full of knifes.
He only had an apple and a black coat with him no other luggage.
His face looked sad, droopy and hopeless.
Key
Headline
Describing words
Similes
Things that the man owned
Things that were outside/inside the train
other information about the man ( what he was doing )
The Caravan
I have too go to this really bug filled holiday place in Portsmouth. It’s not a pretty place to stay in summer because it gets so hot in there so we spend most of are time out side by the caravan walls.
I begged my parents too stay at home but they wouldn’t listen to me. We are all ready going next week, that doesn’t sound fun.
I really want too stay at home but my parents said only if a friend’s parents can look after me.
That gave me an idea, the next day at school I begged my friend’s if I could stay at there house for a week but non of them let me.
So I had too go to the most horrible, bug filled, messed up, caravan in the world. It has a pond in the sofa and a dirty river in the bathroom and something living in the sink.
Key
noun
3rd person
1st person
punctuation
2nd person
Katie Appleby (11:35:10) :
Paragraph 1
Improved by Louise
“Hanted House” ” Haunted House” The hinges were ripped
The day I visited the Hanted House, this is my description. The ripped of there hinges, and the windows smashed. But when I was just about to go back home,,,,,,,,,you need a comer there! it called to me the house had said my name. I turned around and there at the door was a person I don’t know who he is but he was the one saying my name I ran to the house but he was gone. And then someone came up behind me and pushed me into the house.
Key
Bold and repeat is spellings
A better sentence is shadowed
Comers and full stops.
My Holiday
Tweet tweet, cried the birds from high in the tree tops, like they were singing a lullaby. The wood shack was on the edge of a bank which led to a rushing river at the bottom, were the water reeds waved gently as the wind whistled through them. The sky faded into a billowing dark blue, and the stars twinkled up by the moon. How the air smelt fresh and new as it blew, around the camp fire as we sat like couch potatoes in our camping chairs. The ceiling of the shack made a sound of a tedious drip drop splash, drip drop splash sound, as the rain pattered all the night sky. The birds sung there morning tune as if they were singing about the moon.
Adapted by con
My Holiday
Tweet tweet cried the birds like they were singing a lullaby in the tree tops.The wood shack was on the edge of a bank which led to a rushing river at the bottom, were the water wreeds waved as the wind whistled.
The sky faded into a billowing dark blue, and the stars twinkled up by the moon.
How the air smelt fresh and new as it blew, around the camp fire as we sat like couch potatoes in our camping chairs.
The ceiling of the shack made a sound of a tedious drip drop splash, drip drop splash sound as the rain pattered all the night.
The birds sung there morning tune as if they were singing about the moon.
Paragraph 1
“Haunted house”
The most scariest expense of my life
I remember the day I visited a haunted house, I will never go back. The doors opened by them selves, there must be ghosts in there, I’m sure there is. The walls were covered in moss and the wood was rotten and had wood worm. The floor creped even when I was standing still, I could hear scary voices. There was bones scatted every there was old junk on the floor. I walked along the hall and then I turned around and I saw a person creep around the corner. The lights were flickering and it was cold up in haunted house.
Paragraph 1
“Haunted house”
The most scariest expense of my life
I remember the day I visited a veary haunted house, I will never go back. The doors opened by themselves, there must be ghosts in there, I’m sure there is. The walls were covered in moss and Ivy it was spookey, the wood was rotten and had wood worm. The floor creped even when I was standing still, I could hear ghostley scary voices. There was bones scatted every there was old junk on the floor. I walked along the hall and then I turned around and I saw a person creep around the corner. The lights was flickering like mad and it was really cold up in old haunted house.
“A Stunning meadow”
The sun is always shining over the flowery meadow. It is so relaxing when you go in, it makes you feel like you are flying. The views you see are just like a dream. The flowers are a rainbow, bending over with the wind, next to tall towering grass. I sit in the shade of the trees, that look like they are arching over me. I wake up and the sun is starting to go down, an orange falling from the sky.The purple-blue sky of the evening is starting to creep in, swallowing the yellow colour thats there. The rainbow meadow is fading away. It makes you feel drowsy. You close your eyelids and you go to sleep
My Holiday
“Tweet tweet” cried the birds like they were singing a beautful lullaby in the tree tops. The wood shack was on the edge of a big grassy steep bank which led to a rushing river at the bottom, were the water wreeds waved like a giant hand as the wind whistled.
The bright blue sky faded into a billowing dark blue, and the stars twinkled up by the moon.
How the air smelt fresh and new as it blew, around the bright camp fire as we sat like couch potatoes in our camping chairs.
The ceiling of the old shack made a sound of a tedious drip drop splash, drip drop splash sound as the rain pattered all the night.
The birds sung there morning tune as if they were singing about the moon in the dark night sky.
My Holiday
the birds sung merrily like they were singing a lullaby in the tree tops.The wood shack was on the edge of a bank which led to a rushing river at the bottom, were the water wreeds waved as the wind whistled.
The sky faded into a billowing dark blue and black, and the stars twinkled up by the moon.
How the air smelt fresh and new as it blew, around the camp fire as we sat like couch potatoes in our camping chairs.
The ceiling of the shack made a sound of a tedious drip drop splash, drip drop splash sound as the rain pattered all the night.
The birds sung their morning tune as if they were singing about the moon.
Stunning settings
I suddenly landed in beautiful Australia. It was scorching hot at that time I had a jumper on at that time within 2 minutes I had to take it off because even though I was inside it normal temperature and it was 25 degress just inside.
New improved version!
My Holiday
The birds shrieked there morning song like they were singing a lullaby in the tree tops. The old wooden shack was on the edge of a slipery bank, which led to a rushing river at the bottom, where the healthy water reeds waved as the angry wind whistled.
The crystal blue sky faded into a billowing dark blue, and the stars twinkled up by the glorious moon. How the air smelt clean and fresh. and new as it blew around the camps fierce fire as we sat like couch potatoes in our cold metal camping chairs.
The ceiling of the damp old shack made a sound of a tedious drip drop splash, drip drop splash, as the rain pattered all through the night.The birds sung their morning tune as if they were singing about the shining moon.
The daffodils, the blue bells and the daisies too, all shone as they bloomed.
The rays of the golden sun hit the tree tops as they swayed in the calm breeze. How the dew sparkled like glitter on the grass. The clouds were like marsh mellows, as they flew across the sky. I have have always wondered, Is it us moving or the sky?
My Holiday
The birds sang their afternoon lullaby high up in the tree tops. A wood shack was on an edge of a stoney bank which led to a rushing river at the bottom, were the water weededs swayed while the wind whistled.
The sky faded into a billowing dark blue, and the stars twinkled up by the glittering moon.
How the air smelt fresh new as it blew, around the camp fire as we sat like couch potatoes in our camping chairs.
The ceiling of the shack made a sound of a tedious drip drop splash, all night long.
The birds sung their morning tune and waked me up, it sounded like they were singing about the moon.
A forest at night
The evening grew darker, damper and colder. A stream trickled through the forest as the moon made it shimmer like the stars in the deep, black sky. Birds roosting in the tree tops, making rustling as they moved around. The hedgehogs snuffling on the ground, searching for slugs as they left a trail in the sticky, brown, mud. The trees waved as though they were going to grab each other. The wind whistled throught the branches as if the trees were whispering secrets to each other.
My Holiday
The colourful baby birds sang like they were singing a sweet lullaby in the bright green tree tops. The creaking wood shack was on the edge of a high bank which led to a rushing river at the bottom, where the water waved as the wind whistled like a bird.
The sky faded into a billowing dark blue, and the stars twinkled up by the glowing moon.
How the air smelt fresh and new as it blew back my hair, around the camp fire as we sat like couch potatoes in our camping chairs.
The ceiling of the shack made a sound of a tedious drip drop splash, drip drop splash sound as the rain pattered all of the cloudy cold night.
The birds sung sweetly there morning tune as if they were singing about the moon.
The birds cried the like they were singing a lullaby in the tree tops.The wood shack was on the edge of a bank which led to a rushing river at the bottom, were the water wreeds waved as the wind whistled.
The sky faded into a billowing dark blue, and the yellow stars twinkled up by the big moon.
How the air smelt fresh and new as it blew hard, around the camp red fire as we sat like couch potatoes in our cumfy camping chairs.
The ceiling of the shack made a huge sound of a tedious drip drop splash, drip drop splash sound as the rain pattered all the night.
The birds sung there morning tune as if they were singing about the moon.
Tweet tweet’ cried the happy birds tweet tweet went the happy birds agan therebank which led to a rushing river at the bottom, were the water wreeds waved as the wind whistled.
The sky faded into a billowing dark blue, and the stars twinkled up by the moon.
How the air smelt fresh and new as it blew, around the camp fire as we sat like couch potatoes in our camping chairs.
The ceiling of the shack made a sound of a tedious drip drop splash, drip drop splash sound as the rain pattered all the night.
The birds sung there morning tune as if they were singing about the moon.
Inproved version!
“A Stunning meadow”
The sun is always shining like golden star over the flowery meadow. It is so relaxing when you go in, it makes you feel like you are flying like a relaxed bird that sings a sweet song as it glids gracefully across the meadow. The views you see are just like a dream that wil never end. The flowers look just like a rainbow as if there is a pot at the end of it. I sit in the shade of the trees, that look like they are arching over me to say that I am not alone. I wake up and the sun is starting to go down, as if to wake up the moon and the stars.
Louise (11:23:11) :
My Holiday
Tweet tweet cried the bluebirds like they were singing a lullaby to a baby.The wood shack was on the edge of a bank which led to a rushing ruff river at the bottom, were the water wreeds waved and looked up at the river top as the wind whistled.
The sky faded into a a bewitching dark blue, and the stars looked down on by the moon.
How the air smelt fresh and brand new as it blew, around the camp fire as we sat like hot potatoes in our camping chairs.
The ceiling of the shack made a sound of a tedious drip drop splash wosh wosh , drip drop splash sound as the rain pattered all the night.
The birds sung there morning tune as if they were singing about the moon.
26
04
2007
My Holiday– adapted by con
From the tops of the trees the birds cried tweet, tweet. The wood shack was on the edge of a bank which led to a rushing river at the bottom, the breeze whistled through the reeds, making them sway gently. The stars twinkled up by the moon. How the air smelt fresh and new as it blew, around the camp fire as we sat like couch potatoes in our camping chairs. The ceiling of the shack made a sound of a tedious drip drop splash, drip drop splash sound, as the rain pattered all the night.
A Stunning meadow”
The sun is always shining over the flowery meadow. It’s so relaxing because when you go in, it makes you feel like you are flying. The views you see are just like a dream. The flowers are a rainbow, bending over with the wind, next to tall towering grass. I sit in the shade of the trees, that look like they are arching over me. I wake up and the sun is starting to go down, an orange falling from the sky. The purple-blue sky of the evening is starting to creep in, swallowing the yellow colour that’s there. The rainbow meadow is fading away. It makes you feel drowsy. You’ll close your eyes and go to sleep.
Edward P. this is your edited version of A Stuning settings
A stunning setting.
We have just arrived at the cottage, the views are simply the best at the side of the house the ivy creeping up to the window is like a nosey neighbor trying to look inside. I turn the key in the old oak door, it creeks quietly and I stumbled through. The house smells a bit strange, like a bakery in the morning. We explored the house, the lounge, a deep fiery red, glowed in the morning sunlight, the birds sang a lovely song and the fish tank bubbled peacefully. It is just like mum said, I thought. We decide to go in the lush garden, I slide the patio door, we stand stunned at the view. The garden is like a jungle in full blossom tall and thick, I intriguingly wondered through the honeysuckle arch into the view of the sea, the sun reflected on to the sea like the fiery burning colour of the lounge . The day was coming to an end, as the sun went down it went silent the only sound was the waves gently breaking at the sand.
Katie Appleby
“Hanted House”
The day I visited the Hanted House, this is my description. The ripped of there hinges, and the windows smashed. But when I was just about to go back home it called to me the house had said my name. I turned around and there at the door was a person I don’t know who he is but he was the one saying my name I ran to the house but he was gone. And then someone came up behind me and pushed me into the house.
Improved by katie P
“Hanted House”
The day I visited the Hanted House, this is my description. The hinges were batted and crucked. The windows were all smashed. But when I was just about to go back home it called to me, the house had said my name. I turned around and there at the door was a man i could not make him out. I don’t know who he was but he was the one calling my name. I ran back home.Once I had arived I stopped to catch my breath when suddenly someone came up behind me and pushed me into my house.
Abi
A Horrible Holiday
I’ve been there before too the most horribly bug filled, cramped up, broken down caravan in the world. I’ve begged my parents to stay at home but they wouldn’t let me.
I asked my friends if I could stay at there house wail my family was on holiday but they didn’t let me. the place was filled with bugs and it has its own pond in the sofa with something living it there. There is no beech for miles and a horrible rusty old shower which doesn’t work. And I have too spend a full horrible week there!
Improved by Stephanie
I’ve been there before, the most bug filled, cramped up, broken down caravan in the world. I begged my parents to let me stay at home, but they wouldn’t let me. I asked my friends if I could stay at there house while my family was on holiday but they didn’t let me. The place was bug riden and a pond in the sofa had something living in it. There is no beach for miles and miles. A horrible rustic old shower that doesn’t work, stands leaning in the corner of the bedroom creeking every now and then. I had too spend a full horrible week there torture was on my mind!
Steph
Paragraph 1
“Haunted house”
The most scariest experience of my life
Improved version
I remember the day I visited a haunted house, it was terrifyingly horrid I will never go back. The creaky rotting woodworm doors opened by them self, there must be ghosts in there, I’m convinced there is. The walls were overwhelmed in moss and Ivy, the wood was rotten with the smell of damp leaves and trees all around. The floor creped even when I was standing still due to the holes in the roof with water leaking through, in the corner of the room there was a statue suspended in time. I could hear horrifying spirit voices. There was crispy crunched up bones scatted everywhere there was also old junk on the floor. I walked along the hall and then I turned around and I saw a person creep around the corner. The lights were flickering and it was cold up in haunted house. When…
─────────────────────────────────
Paragraph 1
“Haunted house”
The most scariest expense of my life
Original version
I remember the day I visited a haunted house, I will never go back. The doors opened by themselves, there must be ghosts in there, I’m sure there is. The walls were covered in moss and Ivy, the wood was rotten and had wood worm. The floor creped even when I was standing still, I could hear scary voices. There was bones scatted everywhere there was old junk on the floor. I walked along the hall and then I turned around and I saw a person creep around the corner. The lights was flickering and it was cold up in haunted house. When…
Mellissa’s haunted house improved by Jordan
The Caravan –adapted by sarah
This is the worst day of my life. I have to go to this really bug filled holiday place, in Portsmouth. It’s not a pretty place to stay in summer because it gets so hot in there so we spend most of are time out side by the caravan walls. I begged my parents too stay at home but they wouldn’t listen to me. We are all ready going next week, that doesn’t sound fun. I really want too stay at home but my parents said only if a friend’s parents can look after me. That gave me an idea, the next day at school I begged my friend’s if I could stay at there house for a week but non of them let me. So I had to go to the most horrible, bug filled, messed up, caravan in the world. It has a pond in the sofa and a dirty river in the bathroom and something living in the sink.
My Holiday-By Louise
Tweet tweet, cried the birds from high in the tree tops, like they were singing a lullaby. The wood shack was on the edge of a bank which led to a rushing river at the bottom, were the water reeds waved gently as the wind whistled through them. The sky faded into a billowing dark blue, and the stars twinkled up by the moon. How the air smelt fresh and new as it blew, around the camp fire as we sat like couch potatoes in our camping chairs.
The ceiling of the shack made a sound of a tedious drip drop splash, drip drop splash sound, as the rain pattered all the night sky. The birds sung there morning tune as if they were singing about the moon.
Adapted by Han
Katie Appleybey
“Hanted House”
The day I visited the Hanted House, this is my description. The ripped of there hinges, and the windows smashed. But when I was just about to go back home it called to me the house had said my name. I turned around and there at the door was a person I don’t know who he is but he was the one saying my name I ran to the house but he was gone. And then someone came up behind me and pushed me into the house.
improved by Katie P
The day I visited the Hanted House, this is my description. The hinges were batered and old, the windows were all smashed. But when I was just about to go back home it called to me, the house had said my name. I turned around and there at the door was a man I don’t know who he is but he was the one saying my name I ran back to my hgouse then suddenly someone came up behind me and pushed me into the house.
A horrible holiday improved by Jess
I’ve been there before, to the most horrible bug filled, cramped up, broken caravan in the world. I’ve begged my parents to let me stay at home but they would not let me. My friends would not let me stay at there house while my family was on holiday either. In the sofa was a living thing crawling from one cushion to the other. The caravan had an old rusty shower which was stuffed with old clothes which unabled it to work. At the caravan site there is no beech for miles. And I had to spend a whole week there!
A Horrible Holiday by Abi
I’ve been there before too the most horribly bug filled cramped up broken down caravan in the world. I’ve begged my parents to stay at home but they wouldn’t let me. I asked my friends if I could stay at there house wail my family was on holiday but they didn’t let me. the place was filled with bugs and it has its own pond in the sofa with something living it there. There is no beech for miles and a horrible rusty old shower which doesn’t work. And I have too spend a full horrible week there!
“A Stunning meadow” By Hannah
adapted by Hope
The sun is constantly shining its warm, bright raise over the giant flowery meadow. It is so relaxing when I stare into the meadow full of colours, it makes me feel like I are flying with the cool breeze, filling my face with freshness. The views you see are just like a dream. The flowers look just like a rainbow. I sit in the shade of the trees, that look like they are arching over me. I open my eyes and stare at the white fluffy clouds, the warm sun is setting with red and orange sky, as the bright sun sets, it looks as if it’s a ball of fire falling from the blue sky.
Water trickled down the damp slippery, moss covered steps,
Against my wellies, water sloshed up them.
Trees arched above me, it was like a jungle,
Everything was blooming with colours, pinks, blues, purples, and yellows.
Racing down the long watery pathway, the stream rushed down the path, splashing and slurping at the sides of the grass bank.
Lilly’s bobbed up and down in the water.
Ivy trailed up the crumbling walls,
Lavender was the smell of the fresh air.
Lilly pads floated gracefully down the stream,
Yellow and black bumblebees buzzed busily around the nourishing flowers.
Paragraph 1“Haunted house”
The most scariest expense of my life
I remember the day I visited a haunted house, I will never go back. The doors opened by themselves, there must be ghosts in there, I’m shore of it. The walls were covered in moss and Ivy, the wood was rotten and had wood worms in the middle. The floor creped even when I was standing still, I could hear scary voices coming from all around. There was bones
scatted everywhere there was old junk on the floor. I walked along the hall and then I turned around and I saw a person creep around the
corner. The lights started flickering and it was cold in haunted house I was frozen. When…
(Edited)
A Stunning meadow”
The sun is always shining over the flowery meadow. It is so relaxing when you go in, it makes you feel like you are flying through the air. The views you see are just like a dream come true. The flowers are a rainbow, bending over with the wind, next to tall towering grass. I sit in the shade under the trees, that look’s like they are arching over me. I wake up and the sun is starting to go down, an orange falling from the sky.The purple-blue sky of the evening is starting to creep in, swallowing the yellow colour thats there. The rainbow meadow is fading away. It makes you feel drowsy. You close your eye’s and you go to sleep.
edward p. this your edited version of a stunning meadow
“Haunted House”;edated by sarah
The day I visited the Haunted House, this is my description. The door was ripped of its hinges, and the windows smashed to pieses. I was just about to go back home when it called me the house said my name. I turned around and there at the door was a person I don’t know who he was but he was the one saying my name I ran to the house and passed the ripped doo but he was gone. And then someone creped up behind me and pushed me into the house. When….
I now feel alot more secure in my work doing settings because, I have had people improve, gave me some ideas, and a good understanding how I could set out my work. They even added on some bits of work to my work and helped me, so I think that it is a good idea that if we could have a work page, so other pupils and people could correct and improve you math work, literacy work, science work and any other subject really. Maybe could we have a part on the blog for that?
Many Thanks
Louise
P.s. Thank you to Mr.D and anyone who had impoved my work!
Paragraph 1
“Haunted House”
The day I visited the Haunted House, this is my description. The doors were ripped of there hinges, and the windows smashed. But when I was just about to go back home it called to me the house had said my name. I turned around and there at the door was a person I don’t know who he was because it was so dark but he was the one saying my name I ran to the house but he was gone. And then someone came up behind me and pushed me into the house. I fell into a big dip of mud and dust, just then I could hear and I could just see someone running up the stairs he was the man who was standing at the door and who pushed me in to the house.
(Edited by Katie A)
Prisillar
Don’t ever smile to,
Prisillar the crocodile.
She is always sly,
But never shy,
She lurks in the Nile,
With a big chomping smile.
Her usuall meal, is a naughty kids head,
So when she eats it,
It turns the water red.
But she always has an occasional treat,
Which is a very nice teacher,
With big cheesey feet!
By Louise Age 9